Written by Karen Fish
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Topics: Tiger Woods

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

image for Tiger Woods Reborn as Cigar Guy Gives Him Hogan's Secret

Tiger Woods is back Jack! After struggling for an entire year Tiger Woods came alive in the Ryder Cup singles and made 7 birdies, a hole out eagle and several bombs in 14 holes in defeating Francesco Molinari. After the match Francesco said, "Look, I'm Francesco Molinari. This guy is the greatest golfer in history. My claim to fame is that my brother also plays golf. You wanna some spaghetti?"

How did Tiger Woods regain his form? According to an unnamed source because he was not authorized to speak with the media, Stevie told us what happened: Unnamed Source: "Tiger and Steve Stricker were playing on Saturday against Ian Poulter Geist and Ross Fisher. Tiger deliberately hit his shot into the photographer's chest in preparation for 'Big Break IX Abu Ghraib.' After the shot Tiger starts talking to this cigar chomping guy dressed up as a cross between the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Miguel Angel Jimeneth, and Groucho Marx. Cigar Guy tells him he's a Pakistani Golf Professional and he's figured out the problem with Tiger's game. Tiger and Cigar Guy agree to meet at a driving range down the road after the match."

The unnamed source continued: "So I carry Tiger's bag over to this other driving range and we're standing there in the driving rain. All of a sudden Cigar Guy comes through a field of corn and up to us. Cigar Guy says to Tiger, 'I can cure you but if you ever tell anyone what I told you it won't work anymore.' Tiger says, 'Look buddy, I've got nine women waiting back at the house with their lawyers but at this point I'm willing to listen to anyone so what is it?"

Cigar Guy says: "Have you heard of Ben Hogan's Secret? Like you, Ben Hogan got all banged up in a serious car accident. But Ben came back Tiger, Ben came back. If Ben Hogan could come back after a head on collision with a Greyhound Bus and breaking every bone in his body to win the Hogan Slam then you can come back after hitting a fire hydrant. All you need is Ben Hogan's Secret." So Tiger Woods says to Cigar Guy, "What is Ben Hogan's secret to playing perfect golf?"

Cigar Guy says, "Ben Hogan played with a cupped wrist at the top to open the clubface and stop the hooking. Then, as he started down, Ben Hogan straightened out his cupped left wrist." So Tiger says, "But my wrist is flat at the top already." And Cigar Guy says, "Exactly!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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