More from the player named after an animal everyone loves to mock. Yes, its Yakubu.
I've been keeping tabs on the Nigerian forward as he trains to become a top class striker again. But this week, the Yak boasted confidently "You've got your facts wrong lads. I'm top scorer this season,"
Mr. Yakubu, or "that Nigerian chappie who missed the piss easy shot" proudly boasted he was top goalscorer that season.
"Yeah, I've scored 20 goals in 5 games, and I'm about to win the Golden Wotsit!" he boasted triumphantly.
Upon investigation of his empty cupboards, he loaded up his Xbox 360 and loaded up his Everton Career.
Playing in a solo formation, the Yak easily scored a hat-trick in the first five minutes. We were so impressed we nearly had a fit.
Then we checked the difficulty. Old People Easy. Then we checked the team. Accrington Stanley.
In a startling prediction, a lack of goals could see Everton drop down to Division -Five.
Fortunately for us toffees, that's not gonna happen as they celebrated their first win of the season. Yak had this comment to add.
"You mean I was meant to be playing for them today? Sh*t!"