Written by IainB
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Thursday, 30 September 2010

image for Hernandez becomes the youngest person to score in the Champions League
Hernandez was yerknow, pleased.

When Javier Hernandez came off the bench to smash home Macheda's cross to give Manchester United a 1-0 over Valencia in Spain, he became the youngest ever player to score in the Champion's league.

The fourteen year old Mexican striker has been predicted to be the next big thing, once he is old enough to play in the Premier League. Fortunately for grumpy Scot, Alex Ferguson, there is no age limit in the Champions League.

"Heezea weebairn areet," Ferguson mumbled. "Eel bee beeg, yerwatcher."

This was translated for English speakers by Ferguson's number two, Mike Wheelan. "Hernandez has the speed and hunger of youth, and at fourteen is still only being paid in Hotwheelz, which is good for us, for football and for any collector of the toy cars."

Ferguson, or Sir Alex as he insists on being called, has long had a policy of bringing youth through, but normally he bloods them in the Carling Cup, which also does not have an age limit. However, without Rooney Ferguson's hands were tied in the striking department and he had to use Hernandez. Fortunately, Fergie's faith in the teenage was rewarded as he bagged the winner, giving United only their second ever win in Spain.

Hernandez was quite pleased with the result. Although he has not learned much English, he has taken coaching lessons in talking to the press after a match from Wayne Rooney. "Well," he said, "Macky, yerknow, knocked the cross in, yerknow, and I was there to, yerknow, put it in. I'm yerknow, pleased."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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