Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Baseball, softball

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

image for Staten Island Saints Black Smash Cheesequake Mini-Dolphins in Gayest Name For Softball Team Doubleheader

KEYPORT, N.J. - The Staten Island Saints Black swept the Wall Fusion 11-7 and 11-9 in an All Shore Fall League Gayest Named Softball Team Super Olympics

And then, the Staten Island Saints 10s swept an All Shore League doubleheader with 10-2 and 9-4 victories over the Cheesequake Mini Dolphins.

Two girls, whose names only matter to their parents, had two hits apiece to back winning pitcher Jackie "I'll Weight 250 By College" Bauddoinin in game one while winning pitcher Marzo Philasmell connected for two hits, pitched 7 innings of shut-out fast-pitch softball, then went on to win the Fried Twinkie Eating contest, and placed second runner-up in the "Body Like Babe Ruth" Championship.

"We're so proud of these young boys," the Mayor said about the girls' softball team. "To think that one day they will look exactly like Rosie O'Donnell is... well, it's sad, really."

Also placing high on the Bayshore League Gayest Name For Softball Team were the following:

  • Keansburg Crackwhores
  • Hazlet We Tell Everyone We Live In Middletowners
  • Union Beach Tax Cheats
  • Middletown Indicted Councilmen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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