Considering the amount of time Manchester City scouts search for new foreign players; as well as how often the pampered players need to run home for brownies and tea after another loss; as well as how often Sheikh Mansour comes to see a match, it comes as no surprise that the billionaire is going to open another airport in Manchester.
The airport, named "Man Citeh Airport", promises to allow the latest generation of City players to "get here quickly and sign. I [Mansour] have money in my pocket and I need to spend it on another flop!"
The airport is set to sell City merchandise; have a mechanical bull ring; be staffed by robots and have the occassional appearance by Adebayor. Sheikh Mansour, who looked pleased with the project on paper, stated the following:
"I'm really pleased that we can compete with Manchester United on another scale. We're saving a load of money on cab fares this way! And we have so many players, it makes sense to make another airport! The only place we can't go to now is Wales, but that's no surprise really."
Responding to whether the project was a waste of money, the Sheikh simply threw a few hundred pound bills into my face before boarding his makeshift jetpack and flying away to the City of Manchester Stadium.
At least he paid for lunch.