Written by Monkey Woods

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Thursday, 23 September 2010

image for Liverpool Blame Defeat On Poor State Of Boots
Reds get the boot from Cobblers

Liverpool FC, the once-proud Merseyside giants with a wealth of both domestic and European success, were last night brought down to earth by unfancied Northampton Town, who beat the Reds in their third-round Carling Cup-tie at Anfield after a penalty shoot-out.

The game finished 2-2 after extra time, and as the players went into the penalty stage, rain lashed down to make conditions extremely treacherous, but it was Northampton, with their quirky nickname of the Cobblers, who were more steady underfoot.

Several Liverpool players were to be seen nervously picking mud from their boots. Brazilian midfielder, Lukas, said:

"I couldn't stand up straight. It was my bloody boots! They're shit, and so was I!"

But having had all of their boots completely checked over before the match, and re-shod, with brand new studs fitted and tightened by expert cobblers, the League One club emerged victorious after Abdul Osman slotted home to make it 4-2, leaving Liverpool boss Roy Hodgson to remark:

"Awwwwww fuck! I should have stayed at Fulham!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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