Written by anthonyrosania
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Wednesday, 22 September 2010

image for Kevin Kolb's Wikipedia Page Defaced: "The Placenta from Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady's son, Benjamin, is a better QB than Kevin Kolb."
Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady's son, Benjamin, already a better QB than Kevin Kolb.

Not that he didn't completely deserve it, but Philadelphia Eagles' Quarterback Kevin Kolb's Wikipedia entry was defaced last sunday.

Kolb's name Kevin Benjamin Kolb, was changed to Kevin 'Bobby Hoying II' Kolb, a popular nickname in the Philadelphia area, and one used often by certain humor writers.

"I had nothing to do with it," said a humor writer who may or not be me. "I thought it was funny as balls, but I didn't do it."

In addition to his name, the entry was defaced as follows (changes are highlighted):

  • Kolb initially committed to Oklahoma State to play college football but rescinded this commitment when the University of Houston hired head coach Art Briles, a former head coach at Stephenville High School, because his promises, as well as his throwing arm, are sh-t.
  • One day before the season-opener in 2003, Kolb was named the starter in Houston as a true freshman, but was replaced in week 1 by a QB who just got out of jail for killing a bunch of dogs. Circle of life, right, a--hole?
  • Kolb was named to the Walter Camp Award, Davey O'Brien Award and Maxwell Award watchlists prior to the start of the 2004 season. He won absolutely none of them, because, as officials for the awards soon learned, he is f--king talentless.
  • Kolb was rated as the six-hundred and fifty-sixth-best quarterback in the 2007 NFL Draft, and was projected to be drafted in the forty-third or forty-fourth round.
  • Kolb worked out for the Baltimore Ravens in the first week of April, and followed it up with a visit to the Philadelphia Eagles, who apparently drew the short straw.
  • Kolb was drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles in the second round (36th overall) of the 2007 NFL Draft, capping off the Jerry Robinson, Leonard Mitchell, Michael Haddix, Kenny Jackson, Ben Smith, Antone Davis, Lester Holmes, Leonard Renfro, Bernard Williams, Mike Mamula, Jermane Mayberry, Jon Harris, Jerome McDougle, Shawn Andrews, Mike Patterson, Brodrick Bunkley, Brandon Graham list of suck-tastic uses for high-draft picks.
  • Kolb spent 2007 as the thirtieth-string quarterback behind Donovan McNabb, A.J. Feeley, Davey O'Brien, Ken O'Brien, Doug Pederson, Rodney Peete, Pat Ryan, Mark Rypien, David Archer, Koy Detmer, Ty Detmer, Len Barnum, Jeff Blake, Bubby Brister, Adrian Burk, Matt Cavanaugh, Jack Concannon, Benjy Dial, Jay Fiedler, Brad Goebel, Ralph Guglielmi, Rob Hertel, Bobby Hoying I, Jeff Kemp, Jim McMahon, Don McPherson, Casey Weldon and the placenta of Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady's son, Benjamin, all of whom are better than Kolb.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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