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Wednesday, 22 September 2010

image for Andy Reid Convinces Kevin Kolb He Has Amnesia: "You? Starting Quarterback? I Never Said That..."
Ok, the play is 15 Right... Uh,... Razor 7 Checkba... Hello, Rover. Who's a good boy?"

Instead of actually admitting that he f--ked up royally after naming Kevin 'Bobby Hoying II' Kolb the starting quarterback over Lassie-killer Michael Vick, Andy Reid has righted his wrong, but not in the way you'd imagine.

Or, knowing Andy Reid, exactly the way you'd imagine.

He took the pussified route, rather than admitting he f--ked up.

"I spoke to Kevin Kolb this morning," said Reid, trying to shout over the "F.F.F." chants in the parking lot. "He says he feels better, and may actually stay conscious during the next Eagles game."

What is F.F.F.?

A mantra, of sorts, started on Eagles blogs. It stands for "Fire the Fat F--k."

"He did surprise me by asking whether or not he is the starting QB for this team," continued Reid, while dipping fried Oreos into a vat of cake icing. "He seems to think I named him the starter during training camp. HA! Those bumps on the noggin can screw you up, huh? <<Nom, nom, munch, chew>>"

Kevin Kolb's agent, fearing that he'll miss out on 10% of all those juicy performance bonuses his client could earn, was furious: "That fat tub of sh-t named my client as the starter. Just because Vick outperformed him and managed not to get his skull dented in, Kevin's on the bench? Jesus, I hope no one lets a pitbull loose on the sidelines. Your starting QB will start placing bets on him."

Kevin Kolb also commented on the situation: "I think I am starting to like mowing my yard. And I like 'Charlotte's Web', fish on the banana peel gives costumers their switching. Cheese puffs."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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