It's official. Roberto Mancini has responded to recent criticisms that Manchester City cannot win the Premier League by signing a brand new striker who millions of people will recognise.
In light of a recent all time low turnout at the City of Manchester Stadium, Roberto Mancini has signed the Pope on a four year deal.
The Pope, who only cost taxpayers a poxy £12 million, was such a hit in a Mass in Birmingham that Mancini couldn't resist.
"This player makes the headlines. He's had 50,000 in awe watching him wherever he went. He barely speaks any English. He's perfect for the Premier League."
The Pope signed for the Europa League team for £30 million. Not normally one to dish out mass millions for an older player, Mancini assured us that the price was worth it.
"He's a hard worker. He's religious. He's already been linked with the Captaincy here!"
Gifted the number 1 shirt, the Pope goes straight into the squad for a friendly against Vatican City guards this Tuesday.