Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 18 September 2010

image for Liverpool Were The Muhammad Ali Of Football, United Fan Admits
We Won It Five Times - Loyal Puppy.

Manchester United fan, Jarbo the Killer, has finally come clean and admitted that arch rivals, Liverpool FC were once the equivalent of Muhammad Ali - untouchable in their chosen arena.

From the early seventies to the late eighties, Jarbo conceded that Liverpool were the footballing equivalent of boxing's Muhammad Ali - peerless, with such fantastic players as Alan "play it two yards square every time or I'm buggered" Hansen, Sammy "He's fat, he's round, he's worth about a pound" Lee, Steve - watch this mazy aimless run coz I ain't got a clue where I'm going - McManawoman, and Robbie "Sniffle" Fowler.*"

*Some license required here in order to adequately take the piss.

"But what it was, right," Jarbo explained. "United was the Ken Norton, the Joe Frazier, the Leon Spinks - they won everything going, but we still turned 'em over regular as clockwork. A bit like what they sometimes do to us now. But we're not bothered. They've had their day in the sun. It's all over for them now. I'd like to think United will win convincingly today, but I can't see it. It's always a hard game. They've won five European cups - and they won't ever let us forget that. Never mind that they beat European football giants like Bruges, Malmo, and Borussia Moenchengladbach, as compared to Benfica (with Eusebio) Bayern Munich and Chelsea, they'll make it tough (I nearly said 'hard' then) but the bottom line is..."

In search of that elusive bottom line, our researcher discovered that Liverpool failed dismally at every attempt to win the World Club Championship.

They were never, ever, crowned World Champions.

Spectacularly failing in Tokyo against Sao Paulo outfit Flamengo. Amongst others.

As Jarbo burst into song:

"WE WON IT ONE TIME! WE WON IT ONE TI-I-IME!..."

The Scousers asked him to shut up. Politely.

Jarbo obliged. As one does when one is a true gentleman.

Let battle commence - but just for one day.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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