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Friday, 17 September 2010

image for Scandal as Premier League Star Sleeps With Own Wife
Saucy texts land Prem Star in hot water

Manchester: Shocking news reverberates around the city as news came to light that a premier league star had actually slept with his wife last weekend and not some 2nd rate hooker.

The NTNON Team has obtained secret text messages between the un-named pair, who for legal reasons, cannot be named.

Husband - "Hi Darling, on way home - Wots for T"

Wife - "Hi, nuffin babes, kids out tnite, let's make a spesh nite :-/"

Husband - "Gr8, put ur little black number on, let's eat in town first, then hit sack 4 some nookie ;-P "

Wife - "I'm wet thinkin about U already ;-s "

After a super duper Injunction stopped us from naming the pair, shocked journos from around the city guessed that it could be Gary Novel, who has been married happily to his wife for years. Others suggested it could be Ryan Goggs or Paul Scales, none of whom have ever hit the headlines for the wrong reasons.

Manchester Evening News correspondent John Johns said - "This is one of the most damaging scandals to break here in Manchester for years. We're used to seeing top players and their hookers hit the headlines, but how dare a premier league star actually have the audacity to sleep with his own wife, it beggars belief".

A list of top TV showbiz personalities were chomping at the bit, ready to learn who the mystery couple were.
Trisha Goddard, aka Trisha - "This is quite atrocious, how can men like this think they have the divine right to actually sleep with their partners, I'm disgusted"

Meanwhile Disgusted of Tonbridge Wells wrote to the Evening News and had this to say - "I knew this day was coming, these overpaid footballers just think that they can get away with things like this all the time, what about the poor hookers waiting in the Lowry on a Saturday night - why oh why do men always think with their brains first rather than their cocks"

Jeremy Kyle also suggested the pair come onto his show with an un-named hooker and 'get to the truth'.

- 'As if these stars don't have enough time to perfect their role model status as it is, that they actually think they can get away with sleeping with their wives, it's scandalous. I challenge the couple to come on my show and have a lie detector with a hooker, any old hooker, to see if they're telling the truth"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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