Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 11 September 2010

image for Wayne Rooney Warned - Evertonians Will Sing 'No Woman No Kai' From The Stands
"Oh Aye Lar - We'll Rip Him To Shreds."

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has been warned that he faces a 'bloody nightmare' if he plays at Goodison Park today, by manager Sir Alex Ferguson.

He has also been tipped off that Evertonians, still smarting over his £25 million defection to the Manchester giants, will be merciless in their terrace barracking, singing among other things 'No Woman No Kai' - in reaction to the player's marital difficulties relating to his penchant for night club frequenting prostitutes.

"They can be cruel bleeders them Scousers," said United fan Jarbo the Killer, as he sipped a pint in the Dog And Partridge pub, a stone's throw away from United's Old Trafford stadium. "They'll have no mercy on him. Rip him to bits they will. If I was him I'd stop at home. Deffo."

An Everton fan who identified himself as 'Smudger' told us that him and his mates had some right tasty ditties lined up for Rooney's return, and promised - as he laughed - that none of them would be pleasant.

Not for Rooney anyway.

Juicy Jeni has reportedly told associates that she'll be hiding behind the sofa at her Mam's in Westhoughton until it's all over...

Match update as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 5?

9 15 24 6
58 readers are online right now!

Go to top