Written by Noshing Mink
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

image for Wayne Rooney's prostitute 'Juicy Jen' says "I am not a call-girl but a horizontal cheerleader"
Juicy Jen gets ready to do her cheerleading dance in a 5 star hotel in Switzerland

£200 an hour hooker Jennifer Thompson, who disclosed that she had provided sexual favours to footballer Wayne Rooney in return for dollops of cash, denied she is a call-girl, insisting that she would call herself a "horizontal cheerleader".

The 21 year old escort from Bolton, who goes by the name "Juicy Jen", said: "I see myself more as a cheerleader. Fans support their teams in different ways. Some attend matches and pay for tickets, others buy sporting memorabilia, I sleep with the players." She added that she had slept with Rooney 7 times.

She revealed that she charges over £1,000 a night and keeps an arsenal of sex toys, including full leather gear, sex aids and S&M instruments. She admitted "I'm not the fluffy bunny type cheerleader. I don't kick my feet up in the air and say Go-go Man United. Instead, I open my legs and say 'Cum-cum Wayne Rooney'". She claims to have slept with six defenders, three midfielders and four strikers, adding that "My regret is that I haven't bonked a goalkeeper yet."

England Manager Fabio Capello announced that Rooney won't be dropped for England's Euro 2012 qualifier with Switzerland in Basel and assured England fans that Rooney was "in good shape". He added "Anyone who can go 7 rounds with Juicy Jen and can still manage to stand afterwards, must be in terrific shape".

Make Noshing Mink's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 2?

4 2 25 20
47 readers are online right now!

Go to top