The result is always a draw at 'politically correct' football matches, as it would be unkind and unfair for anyone to lose.
So at the recent annual Labour Shadow Cabinet versus Guardian Journalists football match, a debate was called before the match to discuss who would score score first, who would score last, what the score draw would eventually be.
Both teams decided that it would be wise to form three separate 'focus groups' from both teams. To start with, during the morning session, these focus groups split into  Strikers-attack,  Midfield and  Defenders-Goalkeepers.
During the working lunch session, the 'focus groups' changed into  Central 'channel',  Right 'channel' and  Left 'channel'. Players from both teams, co-operated during the 'working lunch', with salt and pepper pots and sauce bottles enabling the three different focus their creative energy into solution solving techniques.
During the afternoon, players from both teams discussed the merits of who would score and when, to arrive at favourable solution to the overall plan.
It was decided that the final result would be a 11 - 11 score line so that all players had their names on the score sheet. This would mean that it would be fair for everybody. Every player would need to take a turn in goal and conceding one goal, so that the goalkeepers from both sides didn't get all the blame for letting 11 the goals in.
After discussing all this and with the result a formality, both teams went home happy and a return fixture is to be played in the near future.