Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 21 August 2010

image for Arsenal Pitch Was To Blame For Defeat - Holloway
Holloway directs training last Thursday

Blackpool FC manager Ian Holloway stormed out of a post-match news conference tonight after denouncing the "terrible state" of the pitch at the Emirates Stadium, where he had just seen his side beaten to a pulp in a 6-0 reverse.

Holloway, himself once a farmer, was clearly angry, when he said:

"That was the wurst surfess oive seen in moor than thurty yurrs in the gaym. Oive plowed be'er fields in me tractor! You coulda plaaanded spuds in thows furrows!"

The Seasiders had gone into the game on a high after last week's 4-0 victory at Wigan. They practised on the sands of the Golden Mile beach all week, knowing that the Emirates pitch was far from perfect, and were hopeful of at least a point against the Gunners, but it was all downhill from the moment Theo Walcott slotted home to make it 1-0.

Theo is a funny name, isn't it? Makes you wonder.

Blackpool no longer occupy a Champions League spot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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