Written by Noshing Mink
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Topics: John Terry

Thursday, 19 August 2010

image for John Terry mistaken for giant rat and shot on West Yorkshire housing estate
Super rat mistaken for Chelsea star John Terry

Footballer John Terry is recovering after being shot on a housing estate in West Yorkshire.

The former England captain was mistaken for a 30 inch rat that had infested the area. Brandon Goddard, 31, who shot Terry, said voluminous vermin have been invading homes on the Ravenscliffe estate in Bradford. "I have myself seen several of them and they scared the hell out of me. So, when I saw the Terry Rat advancing on me with his ratty eyes and pointy tail, I thought I'd shoot first and ask questions later."

The super rats are believed to be descended from the coypu species, a large South American rodent not seen in Britain for two decades. There have been reports of super rats under Waterloo Station in London for years, as well as in Westminister.

The police have warned residents in the housing estate to be extra vigilant and not to feed the rats or ask for their autographs.

Terry said he had no hard feelings about being shot. "I have been mistaken for a rat before."

Meanwhile, Ashley Cole's agent said that the left-back player was planning to stay away from housing estates, railway stations and Westminster for the next three months, just to be on the safe side.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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