Written by Allen Roberts
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Thursday, 21 April 2005

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XFL: Xtremely Fatal Lossage

XFL Makes Return to NBC

After the multiple million dollar loss that was taken the last time NBC and World Wresting Entertainment Inc. launched the "Xtreme Football League," it was assumed that that mistake would never be made again, especially not at a time whenever the company is just starting their rebound from their last failure with the project. This is, however, not the case.

The news came on Wednesday when Vince McMahon Jr., the owner of the WWE, and his son-in-law Paul Levesque AKA Triple H announced that they are renewing the failed football league. When questioned as to why, here is what McMahon had to say.

"Last time we attempted this, we made the costly mistake of calling in people across the country to compete- this was our fatal mistake. In this season, the Superstars themselves will do the playing with the numerous Divas of Raw and Smackdown as the cheerleaders. This will be accompied by storylines much like our Sports Entertainment programs, such as a story when Muhammed Hussan, Khosrow Daivari, and La' Resistance begin setting up camp on the 50 yard line, protesting the popular American sport. Due to this heavy involvement of all of the WWE Superstars, however, you can only expect wrestling once a month. The rest of our time will be devoted to the XFL."

Triple H added in following this, "We've even gotten together new teams and some Superstars from the past to have a complete league, such as the Hall of Famers, a team including the likes of Roddy Piper, Hulk Hogan, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, and Sgt. Slaughter."

The XFL was a football show launched by the then-WWF and NBC to make a quick buck. With 10 teams and a repetitive and uninteresting schedule, fans failed to take interest in favor of the much more time-honored NFL. When the project was tossed out at the end of the first season, it was predicted that WWE and NBC had each lost millions of dollars from the venture.

We don't look forward to the first coin flip. In unrelated news, two workers in NBC's financial department commited suicide two hours later with the letters "XFL" carved into their skulls.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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