Written by Vardy
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Topics: New York, Yankees

Wednesday, 20 April 2005

image for Steinbrenner Hires George Costanza as Manager of Yankees
Steinbrenner gives a "thumbs up" on his latest managerial change.

After being swept by the Baltimore Orioles, New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner abruptly fired manager Joe Torre and replaced him with fictional "Seinfeld" character George Costanza.

Steinbrenner believes he has worked with Costanza in the past, and was poised to make the move as early as after the first series of the year. Some feel that, once again, Steinbrenner has lost touch with reality - which is supported by his hiring of a fictional television character.

In 2003, during a similar slump, Steinbrenner began to dig up the grave of Billy Martin before both Yankee and cemetary officials had to thwart the attempt.

Costanza worked for the Yankees during the run of the sitcom "Seinfeld", but the voice of Steinbrenner was portrayed by Larry David, one of the series' creators.

"My ball players watch TV", said Steinbrenner," and they know who George Costanza is and what he stands for. I have no doubt in my mind that they will respond to him with play that exemplifies what the Yankees are all about."

When asked for comment from his Los Angeles home, the actor who portrayed Costanza, Jason Alexander, stated that he "simply needed the work" and would "learn as much about baseball as I can before the next series."

The Yankees, who have an incredibly high payroll, are expected to contend for the World Series once again this year.

"I'm looking forward to working with him", All-Star Derek Jeter was quote as saying. " He was really god in Pretty Woman. No, wait, that was Richard Gere. But he won an Emmy, right?"

Coztanza is to take over the helm immediately, and his argumentative nature will come in handy. His main weakness is lack of confidence, but his scheming nature should work well within the Yankees orginization.

As for the coaching staff, Costanza has brought on Cosmo Kramer as his pitching coach and feels that this move will result in a better sense of control from his pitching staff.

Other candidates for the job were Cliff Claven from "Cheers" and Dan Fielding from "Night Court". Insiders believed Fielding to have the inside track simply due to his last name. Claven was the dark horse due to his being from Boston.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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