SAN ANTONIO - The Dallas Cowboys are conducting their pre-season training camp in The Alamo City. A reporter for Quarterback Sack Illustrated Magazine, Rufus "Gatorade" Winterwinkle, said that Cowboys wide receiver, Miles Austin, told him that quarterback Tony Romo may be getting back together with his ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson.
Winterwinkle said that Austin, who is dating Kim Kardashian, said that he and Tony are very close and ever since Tony heard that he (Miles) was dating the highly butt-endowed Kardashian, he has expressed an interest in getting back with the highly butt-endowed Simpson.
Tony said that every now and then he thinks about how Jess would say little things like "Tony, darlin' do you think that these tight-as-hell Daisy Duke short shorts make may my sweet ass look fat?" and "Tony, Hon, are my titty boppers the absolute sexiest knockers that you have just ever seen?"
Romo said that he really did not mind Simpson asking him those very personal intimate questions, but he felt that they were not appropriate while both were sitting in a crowded dentist office waiting room.
Tony confessed that the real reason that he actually dumped Jess in the first place was because Cowboys owner Jerry Jones called him in his office and told him that he felt that Ms. Simpson was a team jinx and he wanted for him to break up with her as soon as possible.
Jones went on and made his case by showing Tony that when Ms. Simpson attended one of the Cowboys games the team would lose. Jones told Tony that this was just no mere coincidence, because the odds of that happening in the total of seven games she attended are 3.5 million to 1.
Tony replied that he understood and he quickly started the dumping procedure. He actually ended up dumping Jessica on July 9, 2009, the day before her 29th birthday.
SIDENOTE: Jessica Simpson, who is very knowledgeable when it comes to football, remarked on Live With Larry King that the real reason that the Cowboys lost so many games last season was because of left tackle Flozell Adams who led the NFL in penalties last year with 193. She smiled and said coyly, "Flozell, and not Jessica, is the reason why the Cowboys lost so many games and exactly the reason why Jerry Jones fired the big black brut."