Written by j.w.
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Wednesday, 21 July 2010

image for Cole's for Newcastle
West Ham's new ground

Defying history Joe Cole is going to Newcastle - rumours that he was signing for Liverpool have proved groundless.

'I know where Coles have always felt at home' said Joe 'I want to be with the Magpies.'

Meanwhile in the rest of the League transfers are being made and rumours crop up daily of where players are going. Barcelona is a bit too expensive and Italy is a bit over the top. After their victory in the World Cup the Spanish players are basking in the hot sun of hero worship, whilst English players are hiding themselves as they creep from one B & B to another, leaving as they are spotted by some irate fan.

'This is no joke' complained Wayne Rooney 'as Fergie says we should have had a present at Christmas.' Threats that volunteers are preparing to take over from professional footballers, for just the love of it, have kept many other players quiet.

West Ham, after just managing to avoid the drop are planning to take over the Olympic Stadium after the Games. Unfortunately the Golden Boys running the club never realised they had been bidding for the ground of Olympic Marseille.

'It will be tough down there' confessed goalkeeper Robert Green 'the bounce of French balls can give anyone problems.' Hammers fans facing the journey to Marseille for matches are not pleased and the Marseille squad are concerned about the language sharing experiment.

Counting the days until the next season starts British football fans are preparing for the excitement with calm. 'We are ready for anything' one fan told us 'one thing we do know is that next season will have its good share of unbelievable events.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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