Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 21 July 2010

image for Joe Cole Looking Forward To Anfield Link Up With Wayne Rooney
Hi! I'm Wayne Rooney!

Sources inform us that Joe Cole kind of put his foot in it when talking to reporters about signing up for Liverpolitan giants, Liverpool FC - by saying that he was looking forward to linking up with Wayne Rooney, at the club.

Following a somewhat awkward silence, Mickey McWhack, Editor In Chief Of Sport for The Liverpool Reverberation, finally managed to gather his rapidly departing legendary Scouse wit, in order to say:

"Erm, Joe, lar, de Rooney fella plays for Man U. Know worra mean like? Dem bastards down de East Lancs Road worr've on'y ever won de big one tree times?"

"Vis is a wind-up wight?" Joe Cole grinned.

"Youse takin' der piss 'ere Joe or Wha'?" McWhack countered.

"Couwse I ain't ya scarse mappet! Wazza's a Mickey innit. 'E plays fer de Pool an' at innit - wiv Gerro an' Carra - e's a ledge 'ere on 'umberside...innee?"

As McWhack was forcibly restrained by security guards, and following a lengthy silence, Joe Cole tried to retrieve the situation by saying:

"Ang on lads...Jass leave it a minute innit. Seems like we got off on the wrong foot here. I'm well aware of the football tradition 'ere in...Liverpool...innit, hur hur. An' I know how the fans feel abaht losin' Fred the weatherman wiv 'is floatin' map from the Albert Dock on This Mornin' - bat Ahm 'ere to put vat wight, innit. I'm weally lookin' forward to wearin' ver shirt. It'll be the prahdest day of me life when ah cam aht ver tunnel to that old Z-Cars theme tune. Nah ven - where is it where Abbey Clancy's sistah lives?"

At which point, McWhack was arrested.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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