Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 12 July 2010

image for Blackpool FC To Play Home Matches At Wigan
Alan Ball wouldn't have liked it

They might have made it back into the big time, but Blackpool FC supporters won't be welcoming the Premier League to the Golden Mile just yet, after the club announced yesterday that it will play its entire roster of home games at the JJB Stadium in Wigan.

The move has been made because Blackpool's aging Bloomfield Road stadium is in such a state of disrepair, that it has been described as local residents as "falling to bits".

Lifelong fan, Duncan Whitehead, who lives in nearby Savannah Street, told me:

"It's a deathtrap. It's another Valley Parade waiting to happen. I wouldn't go near it with a bargepole, or any other kind of pole, except, maybe, an eastern European Pole."

Tangerines' fans took the news in good spirits today. One, Albert Tatlock, 116, said:

"It won't make any difference where we play. We are going to lose all 38 games, whether we play at home or at Wigan."

The ghost of Alan Ball turned in its grave.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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