In a press conference on ESPN that was title "The Decision," Cleveland Cavelier star LeBron James announced that he would sign next season with the Miami Heat of the NBA. James, who came out of high school directly to the NBA, has spent his entire career in his hometown of Cleveland.
When asked why he chose the Miami Heat instead of other teams that were competing for his services, LeBron said "I be wantin' to be a Miami Heat cuz dey got da best beaches. Dey got nude beaches and beaches with hot bitches."
"It be too cold in New York for bikini beaches or topless beaches. Chicago ain't got no beaches. Cleveland ain't got no beaches. It all come down to da beaches."
When asked if the ability to play with NBA all-stars DeWayne Wade and Chris Bosh had anything to do with his decision, James said "Dey said dat dey gonna take me to da beaches. Dey be's my homeys and my wingmen."
There was no word if the Miami Heat would provide remedial English lessons for their new player so that he could appear educated (and not use ebonics) in future interviews.