Disturbing news today from the Tour De france implicates Stage 5 winner Mark Cavendish. After winning the stage in a superb sprint finish, he was unable to provide a sample to the World Anti Doping Agency for testing.
Closer inspection revealed that Cavendish had had all his internal organs removed as a weight saving exercise.
A spokesman stated that even though this was not illegal, he would strongly dissuade other riders from adopting this new trend.
"The danger of this practice cannot be stressed enough. Using a hoover to remove organs via the anal passage poses many risks, as well as voiding the warranty"