Written by Vanj China
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Tuesday, 6 July 2010

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Don't you know that stuff'll stunt your growth, Leo?

Lionel Messi, Argentina football superstar, is reportedly all messed up.

After a humiliating 4-0 defeat to Germany last Saturday, Messi broke down in tears in the arms of coach and mentor Diego Armando Maradona.

Although the cameras did not catch Maradona's consoling words, expert lip readers assure us that the coach seemed to say, "Thank God it's over. Now I don't have to run butt naked through the streets of Buenos Aires. Not to worry, Leo. I have just the thing to pick you up back in BA!"

It is said that no sooner had the plane touched down in the Argentine capital, Diego and Messi were off to his private villa to start the party. And party hearty they did.

It is reported that Diego broke out an ounce of his finest Peruvian flake. Neither coach or player have been heard of since.

Don't you know that stuff'll stunt your growth, Leo?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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