Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 5 July 2010

image for Uruguay Out To Make A Killing Against Holland
Hey, Robben, let's go discuss it around the corner, amigo!

Uruguay football coach Oscar Tabarez has drawn up a cunning plan to stop Holland forward Arjen Robben in their World Cup semi-final in Cape Town on Tuesday.

According to my interpretation of what he was saying, he actually plans to kill him.

In an interview with the BBC, Sebastian Abreu, the hero of the shoot-out win over Ghana, said:

"Tabarez has been talking to us about Robben and how to stop a player like him.

"But it's always different when you are on the field We know how to do it, but whether the actual execution actually comes off is another thing."

Assassinations are commonplace in South America, but taking the life of a footballer merely because he is a faking, diving cheat, seems to be taking things a tad too far.

The Urugauyans are taking the World Cup very seriously, however. They know this is a great chance for them to win the trophy, but first they must stop Robben, and appear to be single-minded in the pursuit of this act.

Come on Uruguay!

Quotations in italics courtesy of BBC report: The original BBC story

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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