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Topics: kim kardashian

Monday, 5 July 2010

image for By the Grace of Kim: Kim Kardashian Promises to "Kiss" Members of the Seattle Storm, Guaranteeing Them WNBA Championship.
Sound of the drums Beatin' in my heart The thunder of guns! Tore me apart You've been - thunderstruck!

Kim Kardashian, Goodwill Ambassador for the Benign Solitary Fibrous Buttock Tumor Foundation, has finally announced what team will next benefit from her Beautiful Tight Wet Lips: The Seattle Sonic Storm.

Kardashian spoke to reporters while promoting her book: "Karma Killed My Daddy; The Death of O.J. Simpson's Lawyer Robert Kardashian."

"I am a huge fan of the Seattle area," said Kim, who last used her -POOF- slut magic on Reggie Bush, causing the New Orleans Saints to inexplicably win the Super Bowl in February. "Did you know Seattle is the largest city in British Columbia?"

"I mean, God clearly hates Seattle, perhaps even more than He hates New Orleans," Kim quipped while signing copies of her special video "Me and Ray J: I'm Black By Injection."

"While New Orleans had Katrina and The Jazz f-k them over, Seattle has Brian Bosworth, Ken Griffey, Jr (twice), Rick Mirer, Marie Goodloe Johnson, Candlebox, sh-tty weather: The list goes on and on…"

Kim hasn't decided who she will bless with her Enchanted Butter Gutter, but she has some ideas.

"That big Aryan guy, he's kinda hot. What's his name? Oh, Lauren Jackson. I'd do him in a minute!!"

Kim certainly have fans worked up. Even the Storm coach, Brian Agler, is caught up in it: "I can't wait to win it all," he said. "Of course, Kim will break up, we'll suck again, and my girls will be dribbling the ball off of their own feet in Oklahoma City by 2011."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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