Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: World Cup, Brazil

Friday, 2 July 2010

image for Brazil Crash Out - Arjen Robben Slated
Aaaaw Come ON Referee!

After taking an early lead on a pitch which looked like it was under attack from moles, the brilliant Brazilians went down 2-1 to a Dutch team who were berated throughout the match for cheating by a female Brazil fan who we can't name but who wasn't sitting a million miles away from this reporter.

The Dutch came back as a result of a horrendous goalkeeping blunder by Julio Cesar which led to the equalising goal, and their failure to put a man on the post as Wesley Sneijder (probably the shortest man on the park) headed the winner.

Brazil then appeared to lose their composure and had a player sent off for idiotically stamping on a Dutchman and couldn't get back into it.

The female Brazil fan - who is still in relatively close proximity to this reporter - said that she would have stamped down on the Dutchman's bollocks with all the force she could muster.

The woman, growing increasingly irate as the match progressed singled Arjen Robben out for a particularly vicious tongue lashing.

She said that Robben is a baldy headed cheating bastard who falls over at the slightest hint of a breeze, that he is a cheat, and that he should be hung, drawn and quartered and have his genitals cut off and barbecued, then fed to the cat.

What she said about the match officials cannot be repeated here. It was shocking even for this hardened newshound to hear. She said that Kaka played quite well and got a little emotional at the final whistle for a second, before recovering her composure and once again berating Robben for being a baldy headed cheating bastard.

She consoled herself with some chewy mints.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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