Written by Herr Riballs
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Friday, 2 July 2010

image for It's Karl 'HEINZ' Rummenigge

FLATULENT Germans awoke today to find a welcome addition to their Full English: A serving of HEINZ baked beans in tomato sauce.

It seems our sausage eating cousins now have a REAR guard weapon in their ARSE nal which is sure to put the WIND up us.

The humble baked bean has long been entrenched in British comedy folklore for it's trouser cough inducing side effects. Indeed, the simple FART has long been TRUMP eted as providing the basis of this nation's comedy.

Now the Germans are PARPING on and it won't be long before they too are BLOWING off about it and causing a STINK.

Baked Bean eater, Brendan Cope, said "Is nothing sacred ? They've bought up all our businesses and now they want our Beans. All hands to the PUMP I say".

German, Heinrich Schmid, 56, tried the new foodstuff this morning and told us "I have friends in England. They tell me that after eating beans and drinking lager they have, how you say ?, loud botty burps and can make up tunes. I'm told you English like to hold your wife's head under the bed sheet and this causes a lot of laughter. Wir Wird Sehen", he says.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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