Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for England's National Football Team, Like The Grand Country of England Herself Has Done Before, Will Rise Again!
Queen Elizabeth II, is having the English Football Team over to Buckingham Palace for an "English Weenie Roast."

LONDON - An American stand up comedian, Zydeco Dupree, who resides down in the Tar Ball State of Louisiana, has attended most all of the World Cup Finals games in South Africa.

He saw the German team defeat the English team 4-1. or is it the British Team, or the Great British Team, or the United Kingdom Team, or Her Royal Queen Majesty's Team, or The Monty Python Team of Blokes.

Dupree said that he spoke with literally hundreds of English fans but none of the German fans, since after all the English fans speak English and the German fans speak German.

One thing that Dupree said that the fans from England, Germany, Mexico, Argentina, and the Netherlands all do agree on is that the incessantly annoying vuvuzela situation has got to be remedied before the next World Cup Finals.

Zydeco said that he spoke to an 89-year-old woman from Wellington, New Zealand, Hanna May Kangafelli, and she said that there was a young teenager from South Africa who kept blowing his damn vuvuzela and actually causing her blue gingham dress to lift up.

Hanna May says that she told the young native lad to stop it (three times). After the forth time, she grabbed his lime green vuvuzela and shoved it up his (blank).

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Arse for our readers in England and ass for our readers in America.]

Mrs. Kangafelli said that several of the other fans were laughing and saying that it looked as if they young black boy had sat down on a plate of guacamole.

Zydeco went on to say that as far as his untrained eye can see, it does appear that the English superstar Wayne Rooney could have simply called his play in by phone.

He noted that he could tell that it really seems that Ashley Cole cannot stop thinking about his ex (Chezza) being boinked by "The Dancing Dude" Derek Hough.

And as for John Terry, Zydeco noted that it really and truly appears that he is probably still bothered at having his "Captain" title taken away by Coach Fabio Capello.

SIDENOTE: The BBC has stated that Queen Elizabeth II, is planning on having the entire English football team including West Ham goal keeper Robert Green, over to Buckingham Palace for a good old-fashioned 'English Weenie Roast.' It is very hush hush but word is that afterwards the Queen Mother plans on tearing a few of the lads a 'new one.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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