(MERSEYSIDE, UK) It is with greatest of sadness that we have to report the tragic death of the football management career of the former Fulham FC manager Roy Hodgson who this week signed a contract with Liverpool to become the Merseyside outfit's next manager.
Hodgson, whose previous clubs include Bristol City, Malmo, Switzerland, Inter Milan (twice), Blackburn Rovers and Finland - an extremely strange selection, indeed! - has been lured to his ruin by empty promises of Premier League titles and Champions League involvement, but must be thicker than he looks if he believes all that bullshit.
Last season, Hodgson dragged the Craven Cottage side up by its bootlaces and into the final of the Europa Cup, where they put on a magnificent display before being narrowly beaten by Atletico (no 'h') Madrid.
It seems now though, as if Hodgson has been doing too many handstands, because all the blood has definitely rushed to his head, and he will now become the latest in an ever-lengthening line of unsuccessful managerial appointments at Anfield including Graeme Souness, Roy Evans and Gerard Howler.
Oh, and Rafa Benitez. Don't forget him.
Arrangements are today being made for the funeral of Mr Hodgson's management career, and sources say it is expected to take place as soon as he walks through the doors of Anfield.
*Monkey Woods plc would like to express its greatest respect and admiration for Mr Roy Hodgson's career. Our thoughts go out to his family and friends at this extremely sad time after such an unexpected tragic event. RIP.