Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for Braless front row Shakira fears prey on Andy Murray
Hawkeye close-up of the Centre Court danger

Wimbledon - (Reuterus & Breastfeeding Mess): "It's the sight of those pert, bouncy totems of male enslavement in a see-thru T-shirt I fear most," the No 4 seed's trainer warned today.

"There's only so much punishment the lad can take!"

The warning comes ahead of Friday's Murray-Nadal semi-final which will see the blond Colombian singing sensation take a front row seat.

Shakira's legendary 'touch of amensia' about Centre Court supporters' sartorial code is playing havoc in the Murray training camp.

Pals reckon the desperate Grand Slam wannabe's biggest nightmare isn't Rafa's awesome forehand.

"It's the subliminals emanating from Shakky's gorgeous tits!" Murray drinking chum Hamish McSampras commented today.

"Saps the juices from his manhood."

Meanwhile World No 1 seed Nadal clearly isn't bothered.

His immune response to Shakira's bold front was honed months ago during a series of steamy music video shoot rehearsals.

And Nadal fans are confident the Spanish tennis ace will make mincemeat of his tosser Scot rival tomorrow.

Maria Sharapova is six foot one.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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