Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for Andy Murray To Shove Vuvuzela Up Rafa Nadal's Arse
The look of a person who's just had a vuvuzela shoved up his arse

Britain's number 1 tennis player, Andy Murray, came through his quarter final match against France's Jo-Wilfried Tsonga yesterday to set up an exciting semi final clash with world number 1 Rafa Nadal, and told journalists he has "a cunning plan" with which to stun the Spaniard.

He is going to stuff a vuvuzela up his arse.

Nadal's arse, that is.

The Scot lost the first set to the Frenchman on a tiebreak, but never looked back thereafter, and coasted through the final set whilst talking to his girlfriend on his mobile phone. Cocky bastard.

During an interview later with the BBC's Sue Barker, Murray constantly disrupted events by blowing into his vuvuzela, creating a 'right din', and it's this he intends to replicate when he meets Nadal on Friday.

But Murray also said he would be trying to gain access to Nadal's dressing room before the contest before the match, in order to insert the annoying trumpet into Nadal's ringpiece in an attempt to severely disrupt the Spaniard's superior style of play.

John Champion, that BBC gibbon, later chimed:

"It's just about the only way Murray would stand a chance of beating Rafa!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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