The truth behind England's disastrous World Cup showing has been revealed to Skoob News, and it all boils down to disharmony in the England camp, bordering on internal warfare between squad members.
News of this trench warfare is currently subject to a legal gagging order, but Skoob News can reveal that we are in full possession of the facts, which will not be made public until the future of Fabio Capello has been determined.
It appears that Fabio Capello is NOT to blame, and that he was struggling to keep a lid on internal conflicts among squad members, which effectively divided the camp along irreconcilable battle lines.
Of course, we can't reveal the full details at this juncture, but rest assured that they will follow in the fullness of time.
What we can reveal is that contentious issues arose between the current England Captain, and the former one. We can't expand on that for legal reasons, but we can reveal that it involved somebody's sister, and a case of the pot calling the kettle black.
Which almost prompted a players revolt.
We can further reveal, without fear of censure, that a certain England player with a penchant for older prostitutes, well, this penchant possibly resurfaced. Although we cannot say who it was or exactly what occurred.
The resultant rift divided the squad along irrepairable lines, with players taking one side or the other, to a degree where there was no way that any of them could play as a united team.
Which makes a change - a bunch of pampered overpaid spoilt brats letting down their country because the only thing they are remotely interested in - and ever have been - is the money.
The mercenary wankers.
SHAME ON THEM! THEY WERE A DISGRACE TO THE SHIRT AND THE FLAG!
We will bring you more on this as soon as the law permits.
Meanwhile, Skoob News is staging a 'burn a George cross and replica England shirt' bonfire barbecue at our office. No England paraphernalia allowed.
More when they take the gag off.