Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 27 June 2010

image for Korea Out Of World Cup For Second Time In Seven Days!
Hugo Chavez isn't a Korean, but he looks a bit like one

Getting 'knocked out of the Cup' is a sobering experience for any football team, but spare a thought for the plucky minnows of world football, Korea, who, last night, became the first country in history to be knocked out of the World Cup twice in seven days!

On Monday, North Korea (or Kim Jong-il United) effectively bowed out of the tournament after their 7-0 drubbing at the hands of Portugal, and last night it was the turn of South Korea (or Normal Korea), who, even with a brilliant display of grit, determination and no small amount of footballing skill, were unable to stop the march of the Fray Bentos kings, Uruguay, who ran out 2-1 winners.

FIFA had taken the extraordinary step, last November - after it was thought that Korea might struggle in South Africa - to give the country 'a leg up', and to offer them a second berth in the competition. It was, therefore, agreed that Korea should be allowed to field a second team.

Minor political differences at home, however, have obviously had an unsettling effect on the teams, and by last night this unsettling effect had transmitted itself from the two squads to the people back home, and tensions there were rising.

Indeed, Korea was this morning to be said to be 'on the brink of war'.

There was better news abroad, however, for the weird country, when it was announced by the loony UK coalition government that this autumn would see the re-introduction of six new Koreas offices in England and Wales to try to provide assistance to school-leaving workshy slackers in finding employment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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