Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 24 June 2010

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HM's presence putting a damp squid (sic) on Murray's chances

London - (Balls Up Mess): An entirely gratuitous visit by HM the hoaxer monarch to Wimbledon today is hexing Andy Murray's chances.

The posturing grand slam wannabe's Centre Court bid against Finland's Jarkko Nieminen now looks doomed.

Critics reckon there is little evidence that Murray is anything more than a jumped-up also-ran straight out of the Tim Henman mould - as this afternoon's royal vanity trip may well discover.

Citing the 'Prince William and Harry effect' on the England v Algeria World Cup game this week sports commentators fear the worst as the Royal Box welcomes the grande dame of tournament catastrophes.

None of this has stopped the Palace spin machine from ordering blanket coverage of some of the tennis world's biggest whoppers.

Top of these is the entirely faked reporting of the Queen presenting Virginia Wade with the 1977 Women's Singles Championship trophy.

Airbrushed pics of the occasion mask the fact that it was the current Puppet Monarch's twin sister who made the presentation.

And that Virginia Wade is one of her daughters by the old Queen Mum's renegade brother Sir Anthony Blunt, KGB traitor and father of Tony B Liar.

John McEnroe is Andy Roddicks's birth father.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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