As Skoob News continues to plumb the depths of old comedy staples stereotyping our Germanic brothers ahead of Sunday's vital World Cup last sixteen clash with Germany in Bloemfontein, our reporter came across a motley crew of expats who worked in Dusseldorf in the 80s.
"Wuv gorra smash the Erics man!" Oz, a bricky from Newcastle told us. "They treated us like proppah shyte when wuz wuz ower in Dooseldorf man. The bastaads. Wuz need Rooney and that Jur Curl man ter friggin' knack the Erics reet good an' proppah."*
*(Editor's translation:-"We have to defeat the Germans. They were not very nice to us when we were over in Dusseldorf contributing to their construction industry boom. I do not care for them. We need Rooney and Joe Cole to put them firmly in their place.)
Oz's mate Dennis told us to ignore Oz, as he just likes to be controversial, particularly since he became a chart topping recording artiste rivalled only by Robson and Jerome.
Barry, the sole Wolverhampton representative of the group told us that he'd be very happy if England crush the Erics on Sunday, but unfortunately had to rush off to catch a plane to meet his new mail order bride in the Ukraine.
Moxie, the sole Scouser told us:
"We got Carra, Gerro an' Wazza! We can't lose man!"
More nostalgic World Cup news as we get it.