Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 24 June 2010

image for Vuvuzelas Recalled Due To Choking Hazard
A nurse recoils from the sight of the embedded vuvuzela

Vuvuzelas made by a factory in China for use at the World Cup finals in South Africa have been recalled by the makers due to what has been described as 'a choking hazard'.

The plastic trumpets, a metre long and in a variety of colours, have been the subject of much criticism since the tournament began, due, primarily, to the incessant droning sound they produce, and the effect that droning has on anyone who hears it.

This morning though, it emerged that the dangers of the vuvuzelas extended far beyond mere hearing loss, after a man was taken to Johannesburg Royal Infirmary with one of the pesky horns stuck fast in his gullet.

The vuvuzela was immediately removed by doctors, but part of the instrument was broken off in the man's windpipe, and embedded itself therein. He has been told that, for the rest of his natural life, he will speak like a vuvuzela.

The man was not available for comment, but later droned on a bit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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