After many complaints about the poor calls being made by the referees hired to service the World Cup 2010 soccer matches, FIFA officials have decided to hire trained monkeys to referee the remaining games.
Said one official "there is no doubt in our minds that trained monkeys will be able to do a much better job of officiating the remainder of the games instead of the morons who have refereed so far." The American team is said to be extremely happy with the decision, as their game against Slovenia was upset by what everyone agrees was one of the most boneheaded decisions in the history of the World Cup.
Brasilian player Kaka tends to agree. He commented that he wished the decision would have been made before the Brasilian player was forced to sit out the upcoming game with Portugal. "I definitely would have had a better chance had a monkey been calling the game," he said with a smile.
Even England, who hasn't really had much of a beef with the referee calls so far agrees that FIFA is making a wise decision. "We've always liked monkeys," said Fabio Capello, the team's coach. "Me, personally, I relate better with monkeys than I do humans, so I think all around it is a very good decision and one that England backs wholeheartedly."