Written by Thibarine
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Tuesday, 22 June 2010

image for England World Cup squad to be deported from South Africa for visa irregularities
Maradona gets his Hand of God ready to wave the England squad goodbye.

Immigration authorities say they fraudulently represented themselves as "professional footballers" when filling in application forms.

Rumours of a mutiny have been swirling in the England camp ever since John Terry rebuked captain Capello for speaking out of turn. The world cup squad's training was thrown into further chaos today when immigration officials arrived to serve them with a deportation order.

"I am the Phokeng Chief of Police" said the Phokeng Chief of Police, "and it has come to my attention over the last ten days that the England team are neither professional nor footballers - they couldn't score against the Phokeng pensioners' pub team. Most of them would be lucky to get a tryout for St Trinian's."

To add to their woes, the wives and girlfriends have been arriving in force in time for Wednesday's match. Fans fear the squad will be put off their game, citing the way Spain lost when Iker Casillas was distracted by his wife's arse.

England manager John Terry dismisses the furore as a storm in a teacup: "These deportation proceedings are completely unnecessary. I think you'll find the lads will be going home on Wednesday anyway."

He added: "There's no dissent in the Phokeng camp. My door is always open to Fabio Capello".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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