People's Korea - Pyongyang - Official report of the match of the glorious DPRK against the black-hearted philistines of the reactionary running dogs of Portugal.
Filled with tears of boundless gratitude to the respected and beloved Supreme Commander, the DPRK listened with rapt respect to the Anthem, which filled the bourgeoisie crowd with dread and awe as the contemplated how their system could never produce notes of such beauty.
The obvious determination of the DPRK players loyal determination to become human bombs to defend the nerve centre of the revolution to the death if need be, forced the psychopathological human scum of Portugal to tremble at the knees as the nightmare of their humiliation drew close.
The rain washed the tears of fear from the Portuguese lackeys faces and the tears of rapture from the heroic DPRK.
The opening whistle blew and the DPRK confidently move about the pitch wet with the fear-moisture of the Portuguese, with the running dogs slipping over. The dynamic DPRK bide thier time; knowing that with the Dear Leader's guidance nothing could go wrong.
DPRK are playing all over Portugal's pathetic half of the sodden pitch, with blood curdling shots harrying Portugal high up the pitch and, when a loose ball runs to Cha Jong Hyok 30 yards out, he cuts across a brave and heroic shot that swerves just wide of the near post.
After a Juche passing move, Hong Yong Jo comes infield from the left and sends with revolutionary verve a fine ball over the top for Jong Tae Se.
Captain Hong Yong Jo insists on a good diving save from Eduardo with a vicious strike from a clever angle, just outside the box on the right.
At 21 minutes An Young Hak drags a left-footed mortar-fire a few jing wide of the far post from 25 yards.
Ji Yun Nam, who scored the wonderful proof-of-Juche-and-the-socialist-way goal against a Brazil, fires a 30-yarder not too far wide of the angle of post and bar. The lackeys are now realising what a a serious threat the DPRK is! The DPRK supreme strategy of sniping from distance is a sensible and clever way to destroy the trembling Portuguese in these conditions.
28 minutes and the broadcast is lost! Clearly international reactionaries are trying to pick a fight with us by cutting our transmission because they are jealous of our socialist system!
Agents of foreign intelligence services in their appeasement of the bourgeoisie rabid wolf-pack have viciously severed the signal! You black-hearted philistines, we will annihilate you with a fresh revolutionary upswing!
stooges of the Evil American scum and their running dogs from the South are now spouting gibberish about Portugal winning, which is like a dog barking at the moon, because it is too childish to believe.
Our Juche system of course trampled and destroyed the running dogs of the rabid Portuguese and their petite bourgeoisie supporters! Long live the glorious leader and his supreme winners!