Today, the Atlanta Badgers face the Denver Leopards in a nail-biting crunch-down for the Super-bowl title. In other news, the Los Angeles Pigeons and the New York Hamsters will face-off in a nail-biting slam-up for the Super-bowl title.
And if you have any nails left after that, save them for this news. The Chicago Halibuts' star ball-carrier, Brad Chucklesworth, has broken his wrist in an arm-wrestling contest with a cheerleader. Meanwhile, Boston Chuffmunchers' quarterpounder Hank Ustinov has been practising his touch-ups too much and has sprained his jaw.
Meanwhile, Washington Tulips are facing administration after failing to pay their lawyer fees.
In other news, the USA has won the soccer's world cup, after drawing with England. Those crazy non-ball-touchers!
Stay tuned for an exciting round-up of more nail-biting football action.