Written by Mike Monpas
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Sunday, 20 June 2010

image for American Soccer Fan Accidentally Pees in World Cup

It is no secret that Americans, especially those of the Conservative element, neither understand nor care for the sport which is actually known as Football to the rest of the world. However, there are many avid soccer fanatics within the United States that love the game of Football and would go to any extreme to elevate its status within their own country.

On Summer Break from Chico State University, American Soccer fanatics Justin Brighton and Kyle Langston recently made the arduous trek from California to South Africa, on a tight budget that would make any Irishman proud.

"Dude," said Justin, "we had only like about a thousand bucks from the weed we grew in our closet, but we knew we had to make it to the World Cup this year, cause we made a like total promise to each other at the beginning of the Semester that we would like totally make it down there."

It is absolutely amazing as well as inspiring how the two American college roommates made it from Northern California to South Africa.

"Like he said Dude," said Kyle, "we like sold all our weed, except for the stash we would like need for the trip, you know? Anyhow, so we hitchhiked to Mexico, then hopped a Mexican freight train south. After that we hopped a trans ocean freighter headed for South Africa."

At this point in the story, Justin felt the need to explain things. "Yeah Dude, we totally hopped the ship to South Africa, but those Dudes like wanted nothing to do with us, so we had to hide. We were down there in the cargo hold for like days."

Days later in South Africa, Kyle, desperate to have a place to urinate, broke into what he thought was a locked Men's Restroom. In actuality he broke into the closet which contains the World Cup.

"Dude," said Kyle, "I can't believe I pissed in the World Cup, this is like totally embarrassing, it's like something you would think Rush Limbaugh would do."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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