Jaggedone decided to research this strange phenomenom and sent his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, Johann van de Wank into the headquarters of Dutch footy excellence, the Ajax Amsterdam Academy, here his shocking report:
Overhearing the Ajax Academy boss, Wilhelm van Bastard (no relation) talking to his English soccer agent, Flash Dashy-Dan WinkWink revealing how happy he was that the Dutch team wins and the crap English couldn't win a sausage, he revealed this shocking secret:
"It's obvious the English don't win anything, the Premier League is full of foreigners including our top talents."
"We teach them excellence, six languages and when they're good enough sell them to the top European clubs to earn loads of bucks for us."
"The English players never leave the Island because nobody wants them, they only speak english, fill in the vacant positions in the team (mainly central defensive blockheads) and are treated like spoilt brats"
"England will never win anything because they don't have Bergkamps, Schneiders, van Persies, Robbens and only have Rooney (who?).
As the rest of the world laugh at England's pathetic attempt to win (anything would be a bonus), the tiny Dutch show them how, maybe England should hire a Dutch Manager instead of a clueless spaghetti eater who doesn't even understand "de lingo" cappicho!