Written by Jaggedone
Print this

Saturday, 19 June 2010

image for Tiny Holland do what massive England just cannot: Win. Why?!
Superstar Roon wouldn't even get in the Ajax Amsterdam Academy according to the Tiny Dutch!

Jaggedone decided to research this strange phenomenom and sent his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, Johann van de Wank into the headquarters of Dutch footy excellence, the Ajax Amsterdam Academy, here his shocking report:

Overhearing the Ajax Academy boss, Wilhelm van Bastard (no relation) talking to his English soccer agent, Flash Dashy-Dan WinkWink revealing how happy he was that the Dutch team wins and the crap English couldn't win a sausage, he revealed this shocking secret:

"It's obvious the English don't win anything, the Premier League is full of foreigners including our top talents."

"We teach them excellence, six languages and when they're good enough sell them to the top European clubs to earn loads of bucks for us."

"The English players never leave the Island because nobody wants them, they only speak english, fill in the vacant positions in the team (mainly central defensive blockheads) and are treated like spoilt brats"

"England will never win anything because they don't have Bergkamps, Schneiders, van Persies, Robbens and only have Rooney (who?).

As the rest of the world laugh at England's pathetic attempt to win (anything would be a bonus), the tiny Dutch show them how, maybe England should hire a Dutch Manager instead of a clueless spaghetti eater who doesn't even understand "de lingo" cappicho!

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 plus 4?

5 9 18 12
30 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more