In a last ditch, desperate attempt to save England, a speachless Fab-u-loseio Capello has ordered a top Zuid Afrikaans Witch Doctor in to try and rid England of that ancient curse "Loseritis". (translated in perfect Zulu = Spoilt Brat-itis)
Jaggedone and his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) decided to send his intrepid 'black diamond' reporter, Vee Villi-Blankenberg-Boer in to follow up the story, here his report:
A Zuid Afrikaans Witch Doctor called Chief Zwahili- Wankindik (of Chinese decent) entered Wayne Rooney's room after the Algeria debacle and asked Super-Hero Wayne, "wad's de problem?"
Wayne answered "Doc I haven't had a blow, suck or a bit of pussy for weeks and I feel like I've got lead in my balls (not the contentious footy one BTW) and the rest of the boys feel the same, horny and heavy and wa+++ng is no solution!"
The Witch Doctor rubbed Roon's bald head with bats crap, his temples with scorpions piss and made him swallow 3 tablets filled with snakes sperm (lovely) and told Roon, "dis'll make you concentrate on de job, not sex, and de rest of de English boys will get de same!"
"I've godda special potion for Fabio, Rhino's dung mixed with locust wee, dis will make him use de right subs in de next game man!"
So frustrated England fans, Jaggedone's CIA reporters bring you all the great news, England will certainly "WIN" and shake off that ancient curse which attacks most English sports people, "Loseritis" AMEN! (we need him too!)