Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 15 July 2010

image for Hull City Open Championship Campaign Against Those Welsh Bastards Swansea City
A man's best friend is his dog, but a Welshman's best friend is not

Hull City, the team who have, for the last two seasons, graced the Premier League before being unceremoniously dumped back into the Championship at the end of last term, will open their new campaign, not as they did last year, on the glorious stage of Stamford Bridge, Chelsea, but on the relatively ordinary pitch at the Vetch Field, Swansea.

Well, actually, they won't, because it's a home game, and will be played at the KC Stadium, but you know what I mean, don't you?

Both places end in 'sea', but there the similarities end. The Swans play in white, Chelsea in blue; the Blues are the current Premier League title holders, whereas Swansea City were amongst the Championship's also-rans last term; and Chelsea field a whole host of players from around the world, and are a truly international outfit, but Swansea City are, in fact, a just a load of Welsh bastards.

The result will not be a formality, however, with the Tigers needing to be careful of the Welsh upstarts, whilst also having to score quick points in their bid to return to the big time.

Which will, no doubt, be followed by another slump into the small time. And so on.

Football's shit now, isn't it?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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