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Friday, 18 June 2010

image for Mystery surrounds a consignment of 25 Jabulani footballs delivered to Wembley stadium
"How was I to know our 25 balls were dug into the Wembley pitch!"

England training Camp, South Africa: Embedded into the England team during the World Cup, our on the spot reporter, has been able to gain access to the latest Fabio Capello hard hitting Tommy Cooper jokes!

On the training pitch has told the players, "The only way you lot will win the World Cup, is for the opposition to score ALL the goals for us, just like the Japanese did during that warm up match!"

Whilst Fabio Capello, has publicly declared the Adidas-manufactured Jabulani as "the worst ball that I have seen in my life", privately he has joked about it in one of his Tommy Cooper moments;

"So the scientists at Loughborough University's Sports Technology Institute have spent four years researching a ball most stable and precise ever manufactured, that our England Goalkeeper Robert Green is undone by it!"

It has been reported that the England football team missed months of practice with the controversial Jabulani football, which is used at the World Cup, after a shipment sent to the FA went missing, it has been claimed. In typical Tommy Cooper joke telling, Fabio Capello made another wise crack;

"So Adidas sent Jabulanis to each of the 32 nations competing in the World Cup finals in February, in line with FIFA rules, 25 were delivered to Wembley stadium, but they were used as ballast when the Wembley pitch was relayed for the umteenth time!!"

In Tommy Cooper style, Fabio Capello continued, "Our preparation has been meticulous, the food, the hotels, the altitude training, the conditioning, the only thing that was missing was for an English University to develop a new ball, that we never had the chance to train on whilst every other Country did!! How was I to know our 25 balls were dug into the Wembley pitch!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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