Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 17 June 2010

image for Lionel Messi Destroys South Korea
Lionel Messi's Legs - Apparently.

They don't call Lionel Messi the best player in the world for nothing. The diminutive Argentinian was without doubt the architect behind the destruction of a brave South Korean team.

A Higuian hat-trick and an own goal secured the points for Argentina in a 4-1 victory that had commentators, pundits, and some little fat bloke with a grey suit and matching beard whose name should never be uttered, purring like freshly fed kittens.

"Messi was magnificent out there today," one pundit said. "He had so much time on the ball he could have made a cup of tea, knitted a scarf and a jumper, and still set up three goals."

A commentator said:

"Messi is surely the greatest player in the world. Even the vuvuzelas went quiet every time he touched the ball. He might not be a big bloke but he's got a big arse. Like a lion."

(Editor's note: We think he meant to say 'heart'.)

Messi's virtuoso performance even compelled laid back Brummie commentator Adrian Chiles to temporarily stop daydreaming about Christine Bleakley and what might have been, as he too waxed lyrical about the little genius.

Unconfirmed reports suggest that Cristiano Ronaldo, who watched the game in the Portuguese team's hotel was distraught. Every time Messi got the ball, Ronaldo threw himself on the floor and appealed to whoever would listen that he, not Messi is the world's best player.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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