Written by Darwin

Print this

Sunday, 13 June 2010

image for Poor England Performance Blamed on 'Eccentric' Training Sessions
England's World Cup training camp

Critics have blamed England's poor performance in their opening World Cup game against the USA on 'eccentric' training sessions in which the players practice with bricks instead of footballs. The bizarre technique was recently introduced by coach Fabio Capello.

Said Capello, "The players' ball control has vastly improved since they began kicking bricks around. However, our number of injured players has increased dramatically."

Capello first introduced bricks when attempting to improve his players' heading technique. The subsequent training session saw eight players knocked unconscious and David Beckham having to withdraw from England's World Cup campaign with brain damage.

Goalkeeper Robert Green, who spilled a tame shot into his own net against the USA, blamed his gaffe on the lightweight World Cup balls.

"Bricks just don't move in your hands like that ball did," said Green.

Make Darwin's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 4?

3 5 15 4

Go to top