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Sunday, 13 June 2010

image for Poor England Performance Blamed on 'Eccentric' Training Sessions
England's World Cup training camp

Critics have blamed England's poor performance in their opening World Cup game against the USA on 'eccentric' training sessions in which the players practice with bricks instead of footballs. The bizarre technique was recently introduced by coach Fabio Capello.

Said Capello, "The players' ball control has vastly improved since they began kicking bricks around. However, our number of injured players has increased dramatically."

Capello first introduced bricks when attempting to improve his players' heading technique. The subsequent training session saw eight players knocked unconscious and David Beckham having to withdraw from England's World Cup campaign with brain damage.

Goalkeeper Robert Green, who spilled a tame shot into his own net against the USA, blamed his gaffe on the lightweight World Cup balls.

"Bricks just don't move in your hands like that ball did," said Green.

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