Written by anthonyrosania
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Sunday, 13 June 2010

image for England Blows World Cup Victory Against Country That Refers to Game As 'Hockey Without Sticks'
Ok, guys. Don't kick it this way. OK? Damn.

England's "keeper", Robert Green let the round hockey puck slip right through his hands, and an assured victory against a well-playing USA team turned into a 1-1 tie.

The game, which, according to United States' Eastern Time, was played at 3:30am on Thursday, October 23, 2021, did not go as a victory for England, but as a tie. Not that anyone in the United States understands what it means.

England scored early in the match, but, with seconds left in the first half, USA's Clint Dempsey kicked the ball from, like, 35 feet away, toward England's goal. The shot, which could have been blocked by Stevie Wonder, struck Green's gloves and trickled across the goal line before the goalie could recover.

Asked a patron in a New York City tavern, "Why do they keep calling it football? I don't see uprights, I don't see Peyton Manning, and I don't see a pointy ball. They're playing soccer. They should call it that."

Interestingly, the USA have sold more tickets for the World Cup than any other nation and, in theory, had the majority of fans in the Royal Bafokabooboo Stadium. But locals were supporting England, and, frankly, no one in the United States gives a good God d-mn.

45 days until the start of REAL football season!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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